I have to leave

I'm talking about everything that i have in mind so obviously there is nothing logical in this blog so it can look like it's a big mess but anyways my feelings are more important and i feel better when i talk about it.

I'll leave in more or less 3 months (i don't say the exact date cause i don't want my friends in France to know, it will be a big surprise). 3 months after more than a year and 3 months i still can't believe it. Time is flying and it's still like i arrived yesterday. Like if i met my friends yesterday at the training school, like if my first day in my host family was yesterday and now when we are talking about it with my host mum it feels so sad we don't want that to end. But it's weird i feel ready to leave and i want to share that experience with my family. But at the same time i know that the day of the departure i won't be ready at all. Be prepared, your feelings here are multiplied and if you feel confident easily once here it will be different the whole year!! Your feelings can change in a second and the worst feeling is the one you have to deal with when you will leave. I fyou need anything i'll be here for anybody. The only thing is to count on people you've met here, they are the only one that can understand you, even if your family supports you it's never gonna be the same. You life has changed, your mentality, the way you think and you see the life that's what is hard when you finish your year.

I'm ready to leave now but I don't know what i'm gonna find back in France. I'll have my life, my best friends and family that i miss so much but i will always be different. When you are far from the family so long the good thing is that you can control your feelings even more, that's how we grow up.

Confusing? Well i understand myself and if u have any question u can leave a comment or write me at : an.caruso@laposte.net

Good luck futur au pairs.

When I see this picture of NYC it's breaking my heart I don't wanna leave for the magic of the country!!! But I have to focus and get back to reality.. Ok but not today (ah ah only Valeria can understand) <3