On the Road

I though it would be interesting to create an article while I'm on the road so here it is. Can u guess where I'm going? Of course u can. So easy the whole world might now what's my favorite destination. I'm actually on my way to New York. Obviously. I wanted u to feel what I feel when I travel. And I can say that I traveled a lot in one year and a half.

-New York
-Wilmington
-Orlando
-Miami
-Tampa
-Washington
-Montreal

That's basically all my trips knowing that I'm on my way for NYC for the 15th time already. And also for the last time cause in a few days my year and a half as au pair is already over. Freaking sad!!!

But I'm still here so I'm not gonna cry, at least I will try. I'm not gonna make that too ling cause nobody wants to read super long articles it takes too much time. Being in the road is so exciting. I live to see the landscape passing in front of my eyes. Even if it's just the road and a few trees (cause American highway is not that amazing) but still it's America. I love to spend the 4 hours between Boston and New York watching the road, the landscape etc. And listening to music at the same time it's just the best feeling ever. U feel so free. It's even better than taking the plane.

You have to travel that's the best part of the adventure and the one that makes u feel better if u get homesick or just sad. But there is a risk!! For me it's my last trip, I'll be 4 days in New York and then back to Boston for a few days to say goodbye and this is it. When ur addict to travels and, in my case, to NYC it's the hardest thing to think that it's ur last trip.

Enjoy America there are plenty of things to see, that's the best place in earth.

Why being an au pair?

I gave you so many reasons not to be an au pair did you realize? No well let me explain you quickly before I give u the reason to be an au pair. Actually I shouldn't have been an au pair cause I love America too much and it breaks my heart to leave as it breaks my heart to leave my kids and my amazing host family I never talk about them but they are the most amazing persons in the world. I wish I didn't come so it wouldn't be so hard to leave then even though I know that I'm gonna see them again cause my host dad's parents leave in south of France. It makes me feel a little better but not that much. And shopping and traveling everything is so cheap here how can we go back to crazy prices after that. It sounds terrible like this but if ur not as sensitive as me u should be fine. I hope for you. Well I wasn't that sensitive anymore since I arrived here cause ur alone and need to control what u feel but actually your real personality come back when it can, I'm not shy anymore and I can handle any kind of situation but not the goodbyes that's the worth think in the world I would like my heart to stop bumping in my chest sometimes. Luckily even if it's hats when u think about the future it helps.

That's why u need to become an au pair. It makes u get stronger physically (if u have to take care of two boys like me) and mentally. I makes u grow up. Even if I was 22 when I arrive I grew up a lot so for the one that are younger it's gonna make u grow up. But u need to think like an adult to apply for this job cause yes it's a real job. If the family consider that they need to take care of you like their kids they will just fired you. You need to be mature and responsible and flexible. It's not ur family u need to follow the rules, the family is also making concessions like you sometimes to have you so be respectful. You're not the only one in this story, the family and the kids are here so talk together, enjoy your time together and you'll be part of the family but u also need to take care of the kids so during the working hours your job count first. If you can handle to be the employee sometimes you'll be even more part of the family trust me. Bit I have to say some families can abuse so be careful when ur choosing they are even more careful and they also wonder if ur gonna be good for them so you should think about it too. Watch the attitude of the family when ur skyping.

Whoop I'm talking about everything except the reasons to be au pair. Well leaving in a different culture is the first point and then meeting people from all over the world, travel and them meet new au pairs when ur an old au pair and tell them about your experience. That's short but there us nothing to say it's such an amazing experience. Meeting people from all over the world is something Mahican, u discover new cultures and different ways of thinking. And u grow ip ur more open minded it's just amazing.

Time flies

Hello everybody,

I haven't wrote down in a while but time is going so fast that I thought last time was 2 weeka ago and it was actually mote than one month. In the mean time I got closer from some friends I think about my friend Sara that leaves in Chestnut hill like me but also my French friends that I love so much. I've been so busy I have so many people to see cause I'm now leaving pretty soon and I want to do everything and see everybody. I got the chance to see a friend from the training school 2 months ago that was in Philadelphia and that now studies and works in new York she is so lucky. But I'm also so happy to keep in touch with some of the friends for the beginning. They are not a lot but probably the most important. I'm thinking especially about Christiane Marie my French Mexican girl, and KAren my favorite Chinese girl. It's always amazing to say that we have friends all over the world i love that.

What else? Well I leave soon and everyday I feel even more sad not because I'm not happy to see my family and my friends but I love so much America that it breaks my heart to leave but still I go back for my mum cause I know she won't handle obe more day without me even though she knows that I'm not gonna stay that long. But I can't wait to see her and my friends with who we have a lot of plans especially new year's eve I can't waitttttt.

So I'm really confused. I don't know what to think I feel so good when I think about the parties that we're gonna have with my friends but the US are so amazing that I want to stay there until I'm stuffed like you're stuffed cause u ate too much ah ah. Anyway I thought I would be really ready when I extended but I'm still scared, I don't know what's waiting for ne and sometimes I don't want to know. If I didn't have anybody I would just stay here but sometimes u have to make some concessions and going back to France is mine for a little while. So I'm gonna enjoy what I have there.

Past belong to the past but let's enjoy it when it's still the present cause them u cannot go back u can just remember.

Meeting new people

Even though most of my friends left, i still meet new people. The last few days i've met a group of french girls more than nice. I know that i'm not here to meet French people, i have enough french in France ^^. But first I wanted to share my experience with these new girls and make a Boston tour and show them their new life. And finally weeks pass and we get closer and closer. I have so much fun with them, we are getting closer, spending week end together and just having fun.. I'm glad i met them. Pretty soon it's gonna be the Halloween au pair party ... Even if the end is right around the corner i still meet a lot of people, build new friendships and make this adventure unforgetable.

I have to leave

I'm talking about everything that i have in mind so obviously there is nothing logical in this blog so it can look like it's a big mess but anyways my feelings are more important and i feel better when i talk about it.

I'll leave in more or less 3 months (i don't say the exact date cause i don't want my friends in France to know, it will be a big surprise). 3 months after more than a year and 3 months i still can't believe it. Time is flying and it's still like i arrived yesterday. Like if i met my friends yesterday at the training school, like if my first day in my host family was yesterday and now when we are talking about it with my host mum it feels so sad we don't want that to end. But it's weird i feel ready to leave and i want to share that experience with my family. But at the same time i know that the day of the departure i won't be ready at all. Be prepared, your feelings here are multiplied and if you feel confident easily once here it will be different the whole year!! Your feelings can change in a second and the worst feeling is the one you have to deal with when you will leave. I fyou need anything i'll be here for anybody. The only thing is to count on people you've met here, they are the only one that can understand you, even if your family supports you it's never gonna be the same. You life has changed, your mentality, the way you think and you see the life that's what is hard when you finish your year.

I'm ready to leave now but I don't know what i'm gonna find back in France. I'll have my life, my best friends and family that i miss so much but i will always be different. When you are far from the family so long the good thing is that you can control your feelings even more, that's how we grow up.

Confusing? Well i understand myself and if u have any question u can leave a comment or write me at : an.caruso@laposte.net

Good luck futur au pairs.

When I see this picture of NYC it's breaking my heart I don't wanna leave for the magic of the country!!! But I have to focus and get back to reality.. Ok but not today (ah ah only Valeria can understand) <3

Saying goodbye

What's really difficult in here? Saying goodbye to friends. Since i arrived i think i went at least 6 or 7 times at the airports and said goodbye 10 times. I don't have a lot of real friends even though i have lots of persons with who i liked to hang out but at almost the end of my adventure I have to say that i can count my real friends on my fingers (it's a french expression I don't even know if I can say it in English but whatever.

I'm really sensitive even if I learned how to control myself here so saying goodbye is horrible for me. I know that the persons with who I went to the airport or the farewell party are the best friends I could ever meet here. I realized afterwards that they were my real friends and the best friendship I could have here.

For all au pairs, get ready to say goodbye even if you haven't leave your country yet. Cause all your feeling are multiplied and you life is really fast here. You're all alone and you get close from people easily (but don't forget to choose your friends really well not to be surprised by people that are not talking to you anymore when they left or they decided they don't want to be your friend). It's really hard cause we need somebody that we can count on but mostly the au pair adventure is amazing and your new friends will stay your friends if you do everything for it.

To all my friends that left or will leave pretty soon I love you so much. You're not a lot but at least I know that I can count on you forever and I'll see you pretty soon even if you are in Mexico, China, Philippines, Korea...

To Audrey, Sheila, Lucas, Romain, Alex, Valeria, Karla, Ina, Chris and Aurélie!!! I love youuuu

New York, i love you!!

No it's not the movie! Just what i feel about New York and the US. I love it. I love being here, discovering this culture even though it's not an old and extraordinary culture but the US grew up so fast that's what it makes the country so fabulous and unique. Here you feel, and I feel, that everything is possible. This country really makes me feel myself and i had accomplished everything i wanted. I'm somebody else, somebody new and I love it.

Why NYC? I'm in love with this city as i was in love with my first love in high school. We were together for two years and still now, 8 years after the beginning of our story and 6 years after the end, i haven't forgot him, i just learned to live without him as i will have to learn to live without this passion for NYC and the US. Well but maybe there is something to do!!! Just move there. That would be my dream even if i think that i couldn't live in this "fake" country with "fake" people (yes people are really fake here, they just live for how they look) i cannot imagine myself far from here. It's an horrible sensation but i have to start to deal with it...but not now i still have 3 months and a half to deal with that. I'm gonna enjoy in the mean time and loving it as i'm loving it right now.

I don't know if you guys are gonna read that or even understand but i needed to tell how much i felt good here, in the US, in Boston and especially in NYC. I'm thinking about doing something in my life to be able to go back in New York. And everything i want i have it...just need to believe in yourself and your dreams can come true. No i'm not a little girl anymore, my experience taught me that realize all your dreams is possible.